real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
