I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
