We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
