plz talk dirty to me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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