So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
