So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
