Someone shit on the floor
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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