I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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