So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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