Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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