I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
