Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
