He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
