We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
