That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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