i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize