Plan B is the new Plan A
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
