I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
