by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
