be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
