She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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