Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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