So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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