His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My penis needs a shock collar
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize