This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
