Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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