yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize