hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
