Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
