Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
