remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
