I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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