I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
