Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
