Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
