Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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