You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
