in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
