office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
