Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
