do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
