whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
