you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
