so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
