if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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