You can't special order awesome
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
