Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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