sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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