i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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