Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
