just tell him i said nine months
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
