Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
