I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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