The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
