My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
