Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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