please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
