the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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