i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
