I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This is my gift to your gina
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
