Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
