If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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