I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
